Have you ever had one of those days…hell...one of those weeks or longer, where you felt so low, that you could not even get off the floor? I have. I have had many of those days. I've felt so low that even death was too good for me. The hate, pity, shame, just eats me up from the inside and I don't have any motivation to do something about it.
What I have learnt in my lows is that I am not the first person to feel low, and that others have definitely felt even lower than me. That meant something to me ...someone else has faced and overcome these feelings, and I can too.
One resource for those rock bottom, cant get off the floor, type of days…is David Goggins. This man is a walking statement on what it means to break through limitations. The only person to have completed Navy SEAL training, US Army Ranger school, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training. He competes in ultra marathons running distances of over 100, even 200 miles! He also broke the world record for the most number of pull ups done in 24 hours.
These facts just touch upon the intensity and grit of David’s character, the more I learn about him, the more I see how deep and intricate his story is. It is not his physical achievements that drew me to him, it is his understanding that every battle we fight is mostly fought in our minds. The mind is the most powerful tool we have, and if you train it well, you can use it to accomplish anything. The physical fitness gave him a way to work on his mental fitness, a way to "callus" his mind, and this opportunity is available to anyone.
In this post, I am going to discuss a concept from Goggins’ work that I found motivating and meaningful, during those rock bottom days.
The Real You is on the other side of the comfort zone
If you have lived your life in the comfort zone, that is, you do the things you want to do and don't do things you don't want to do. Then you are only engaging with a small part of your mind, Goggins calls this 20% of your brain. This part of your mind has a loving and soothing voice, it tells you that “you are doing your best, and that is good enough”. This voice represents the comforting mother figure that provides unconditional love and reassurance. This voice makes us feel safe, that everything is going to work out and we are good enough as we are. Goggins felt starved for love as a child, as his mother was going through her own battles. He craved that voice more than anything. Our childhood wounds can make us predisposed to cling to that loving voice.
Now on the other side of your mind is another voice, Goggins calls this the 80% of your brain, he says people try to stay far away from this voice. Yet even from afar, the voice seeps into our thoughts, telling us that “you are not doing enough”. The downfall of modern society, says Goggins, is the tendency to label this voice as cruel and insulting. This is the wrong way to look at it. If there are any cold hard truths that need to be said, it is this voice that will have the courage to say it to you. This voice is going to remind you that you are not maximizing your potential, you are not using your mind and body to the best of its ability.
So why do people do anything to avoid engaging with this part of the brain? Because this voice does not represent the comfort zone, it represents the suffering zone. If you choose to turn this voice up louder, listen to it, and work for it. Well, you are going to go through a lot of suffering, anguish, darkness, failure, failure, more failure, and then finally….the light on the other side.
This will not come easily, it will require you to consciously do the things you don't want to do. You are used to just doing what keeps you in your comfort zone, whatever that is. Whether its addictions and vices, or the more productive versions of comfort in areas like career or fitness. This has trained you to do what you like. That will just keep you in that 20% zone. Yet you will believe that you are giving it your all, or something close to it.
If you decide to turn up the volume on the other voice, and start listening to it, start finding out what the other 80% of your brain is about. Now you will suffer…you will succeed, but you will suffer in the process of getting there.
Goggins tells us that its not about being a masochist. Its about finding and claiming your true self, the very best version of you that shines bright. That true self is waiting on the other side of all that suffering. You won't be able to meet him or her in the comfort zone. Just doing whatever feels good and comfortable, just keeps you further away from this true self.
Goggins stated that his greatest fear was the possibility that he would die without ever reaching his potential. The voice in his head told him that it was possible, that he could make it and achieve all his dreams..but he was afraid of the work it would take to get there.
So what does it mean to do the work? It means to repeatedly do the things that you don't want to do, to repeatedly cause yourself discomfort. Goggins calls this “callusing the brain”. You will experience mental pain, which will build and train you. You don't just do it a few times either, you do it over and over again until the discomfort is more common than the comfort. This is the level at which you need to be working to cross over to the other side, achieve your dreams, and meet your best self.
How did this help me? Well.. in those “woe is me” moments, where my brain is telling me that I cannot try any harder. Goggins reminds me that my brain is LYING to me, I can do more, I can try harder, and the truth is…I have barely started trying. Get up and try again! Break through your mental limits, and find out exactly who you are on the other side of suffering.
